Wednesday, August 10, 2011

And in her Mind, All the Sheets Were Dry

I don't have sex with other people.  It's not that I'm against sex or asexual. It isn't even that I don't have desires. I tend to live in a rather comfortable state of lust. However, I'm also fat, anti-social, and selfish, so sex with other people doesn't happen.  And while this may be unhealthy, I'm totally okay with that. I only marginally like to be hugged. The idea of being penetrated is fairly creepy.

Because I don't have sex with other people, I somewhat forget that other people do have sex.  Rationally, I realize they do.  Actually, maybe not even rationally. I get told they do, but I don't process it. Maybe I don't even believe it. It's such an alien thing to my life that I tend to go through my days believing it's alien to everyone else.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm against sex or that I think people who have sex are immoral.

No, I'm saying that I just tend to default to the concept that people really don't have sex. It never happens. Or rarely happens. I'm not disgusted by the idea that people do it.  I'm just shocked they do it. Whenever I found out someone's pregnant, even if they've been married for years, my first thought is always, "Oh yeah. They probably have sex."

I'm even more shocked when I found out people cheated. When did they have time?  Or like priests or other people who are supposed to stay celibate? I honestly, honestly can't fathom why they don't stay celibate. It's really not that difficult. Oh, I know that last statement sounded really judgey. I didn't mean for it to. I'm not saying they're bad people for breaking vows . . . I just don't get why they would.  To me, it's easy to live without sex.

To be fair, there are a lot of reasons why it's easy for me to live this way.  Childhood trauma, assault, living in my brain, laziness, and probably being a Capricorn lend themselves to a life of contented celibacy. I just have to keep in mind not everyone else has all of these factors.

This has been your moment of BHB weirdness.

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