Social Construction: The Five Year Theory

I think a lot of our problems as social animals stem from this idea that we have to make really long term relationships with people. I think a lot of our other problems as social animals stem from the fact that we are forced to be around the other humans we don't want in our lives.

Think about it. Don't a lot of people's emotional worries come from either the idea of finding long term relationships OR from being around annoying people all the time? Both concepts are extremely draining.

I think it would be really cool if that every five years, we were required to stop being around each other. Marriage end. Friendships dissolve. Jobs change. Locations change. Everything, everyone is different.

It's impractical and probably impossible, but there would be some nice benefits from it.  For one thing, if your relationships could only last for five years, you'd probably try and make the best of them. Instead of taking your lovers and friends for granted, you'd take the time to really get to know them, talk to them, make memories.

And for the people you didn't like, you'd find their soulsucking annoyance to be less horrible than it used to be. After all, you only have to put up with them for five years. Then you'd never have to see them again. Ever.

There would have to be some exceptions, of course. Clearly children would need more time with parents, though probably not a full 18 years living with them. And every once in a while, you'd find someone who was truly so amazing you would petition to be with them past the five years.

There could also be an evaluation at the end of the relationship. If people got too many negative marks from others, they could be restricted on who they got to associate with. That way, abusive people would face either rehabilitation or social isolation. Those who were just as annoying as fuck could be told so and offered a chance to take some classes to teach them to be less intolerable.

We could build a whole new educational market based on these classes. Stop Talking So Much 101. How Not to Annoy Others.  The Art of Conversation. From Passive/Aggressive to Decent Person. How to Overcome Being Boring.  Entertaining Yourself and Others.

I think people would become more self-reliant too.  Knowing that everyone would be leaving their lives after five years would help them to see how important it is to find your own interests and your own hobbies. Considering everyone else would be transient, you would be the only constant in your life.

Of course I know a lot (of all four of you) are assuming this is just typical Blackhaired Barbie commitment phobia and jadedness, but I honestly don't mean it that way.  Just look around you, consider the people in your life.  If most of them had walked away after five years, where would you be now? How much stress would you not have from the relationship?

See, I told you it was a good idea.