Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hotter than the Backside of Satan's Ballsack

This title is dedicated to my best friend. She and I actually made a whole song about this concept today, to the tune of B52's "Love Shack."

Satan's ballsack
Is a sweaty hot place that
Sticks to his leg!
Ballsack, baby!

Anyway, it seriously is fucking hot today. I think it maxed out at 113 or something. This is insane. It was 100 before noon. It's midnight and it's still 91. Midnight.

MIDNIGHT!

So compromises had to be made.  Normally we don't cool the kitchen, but it was so hot in there it was kind of scary. So curtains were shifted around so that the kitchen could keep from frying all the food in the cans. We were successful as the kitchen got down to a chilly 97!

I'm also losing the privacy of my bedroom. My roommate pulled my mattress into the living room so I could sleep in something close to comfort. As I'm Medical Equipment Barbie, this was kind of a challenge.

We also talked about the state of ourselves and how hot it can be in the car and decided that unless it was a short trip around town, we'd not be going out in this weather. It's just way too hot. Way way too hot. If we broke down, we would sizzle and not in a good way.

This last decision had a rather nasty psychological effect on both of us.  It's never fun to be stranded.  We had to go through this during the damned snow and then during the damned flooding and now during the damned heatwave.  Yes, I'm tired of extreme weather.

On the plus side, my roommate has been a darling about moving stuff around. He even managed to cook this morning (in the frozen tundra of the high-90's kitchen!) and searched heroically for Outside Kitty.  The cats love my mattress being in the living room, in fact Antisocial Crazymess Cat even came out to hang with us today.

And of course, I have a new song.

Stuck stuck stuck to his leg, baby!
Satan needs a fan, sugar!

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