Imaginary Betrayal

Sometimes I love my imagination. In fact, like 99% of the time, it's like my favorite thing. During that other one percent, however, it really messes with me. Any time my imagination locks into my irrational fears, my life suddenly gets a bit batshit.

This happened the other night. I have this irrational fear of mice. My roommate is quite baffled by this. When the topic mice comes up, at some point, the following is said.

Roomie: But it is a MOUSE. Mice are tiny.
Me: What part of irrational are you not hearing?
Roomie: Itty bitty. You could step on it.
Me: OH MY GOD! And also, still, I would like to point out this isn't a rational fear. Plus, OH MY GOD at stepping on the mouse.
Roomie: Seriously, what could the mouse do?
Me: Irrational!

I realize everything he says makes total sense. I also know it doesn't matter. I'm still going to scream when I see a mouse. And that's only part of it.

However, I don't want any mice hurt. I just want them to peacefully live their lives far the hell away from me. So when I saw a mouse scamper across the room the other day, my roommate bought some humane traps that will contain the mouse, but not kill it. This is a wonderful thing and it will solve the problem.

The other night though, the whole mouse and mouse trap concept served instead to cause me problem. I was on my mattress which, as you will recall, is temporarily in the living room until the heat dies down. I was laying quite happily on my bed when I thought about the fact that the mouse trap wasn't really all that far away from me.

In fact, if the mouse ran into it, I could probably hear it. Which means I would have to take it outside and hope it doesn't do whatever stupid irrational thing I think it will do. What the hell even is that?

Do I think the mouse will explode and kill me?

Do I think it will suddenly become a hoard of mice and drown me in mice overabundance?

Do I think it will set me on fire? Arrest me? Shoot me dead?

Do I think the mouse will bite me with it's giant vampire mouse teeth? Okay, I maybe have reason for this one. When I was younger, a hamster bit me and wouldn't let go. Evil little fucker.

Anyway, irrational fear of mouse is now activated and I'm shivering in the bed . . . OH BUT THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!

Because then my mind, bastard that it is, begins to think about how snakes love to eat mice. So, quite possibly, which in Irrational Fear Mode, equals 100%, when I go to take the mouse outside and set it free, a giant snake will have its head stuck in the trap, trying to get at the mouse.

The snake will sense me with its Special Snake Sensing Powers and will SPRING from the trap and latch onto my eyeball and suck out my brains!

Which, again, irrational, but that's where fear and imagination were taking me.

Evil brain. May you be calmer tonight!