Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Obsession with Candy Warp

As I have mentioned before, I have this kind of guilty pleasure thing with watching Gossip Girl.  Actually, it's not a "kind of." I fucking love the show. Even though I disdained it for years, once it started streaming on Netflix, I became obsessed. I'm not going to say it's the best show ever . . . it's not. Serena, Nate, Dan, and Vanessa bore me to no end. I do, however, completely adore Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass.  Their love/hate/love war is entertaining as hell.

I have to admit though, this isn't the only Candy Warp show I like. What is Candy Warp? Well, in my head, that's what "CW" actually stands for. I know that isn't the reality, but....well, it's not the official statement. It technically is the reality. Every show on there is made of candy that's been warped to all hell.  Welcome to Candy Warp. Prepare to be equally obsessed, annoyed, delighted and ashamed.

The thing about CW shows is that even though they start off sketchy and eventually get really bad, I still watch them. I watched all 16 thousand seasons of Smallville, to the very last, bitter end of what the fuck it became.  Did I watch it for that whinging, wibbling Clark Kent? No. He annoyed me. I watched it for Lex and Chloe. After Lex died, I watched it for Chloe and started to love Tess. Eventually, I just kept watching despite all reason and logic.  Because that's what happens when you're candywarped.

Supernatural is the same way. Supnat has had seasons of greatness.  Lately? It's had seasons where I'm quite sure they're letting a monkey just womp its ass against a keyboard and whatever that produces becomes the plot. And yes . . . despite the fact that I will leave other shows, I will still keep watching Supernatural because . . . god, I have no idea. I just will.

You'd think I'd learn from this, but I won't.  Secret Circle(Jerk) is a pretty clunky show with plot holes so big you could fly space cruisers through them. I know the show is bad. And yet, today I found myself amusingly making up couples names for the characters.  Faye and Lee nicely and properly becomes Lay. Cassie and Jake become Cake. Adam and Diana become Diam. Oh, and it has Brian Kenny Only Straight on it.  That god I get to look at him again.

Oh, OHHH. And if that wasn't bad enough, when I finish Gossip Girl, you know what I plan to stream next? Vampire Diaries. My mind will receive more candywarping and I will never recover. Never ever.

Cake is a damned great name though.

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