A Look at Goals

Now that I'm really into the wooden loom, I'm finding it to be quite comforting. I like the rocking motion of it, the sound made when the yarn hits the nails, and of course, the beautiful rows of knit that are produced. I love those most of all. When I wake up in the morning and do my work out, I enjoy the way it helps to liven up my body. I like the fact that it helps to take away the stiffness in my body, starts me breathing better, and gives me more energy.

I use these two things as examples because I want to talk about goals. Recently, The Simple Dollar posted this article about goal-setting. Goals should make us happy, not make us miserable. They should energize us, not drain us. Goals should add to our lives in a positive way, not impact it in a negative one. If the goal isn't making you better, then it isn't going to work for you, and it isn't worth pursuing.

Trent Hamm (the man behind The Simple Dollar) made a very good point about how goals should spring from internal motivations, not external ones. What motivates change in your life should be something that you care about. It should be something that is personally important to you. If it's not, you probably won't truly work towards the goal, or, if you do, you won't enjoy it and won't feel accomplished when you reach it.

Now, some people might argue that 'feeling good about it,' isn't really all that important. After all, if you accomplish the goal, shouldn't that be enough? Well, the thing is, it's not. We only have so many spoons in life. We only have so much time. So why waste your time trying to achieve something that won't make you happy? Why waste your time working on something that makes you miserable in the process?

For example, my best friend recently took a hiatus from her diet plan and has decided to return to it. Among other things, the hiatus afforded her some time to think about the diet and how it was working for her.  She realized there were many places where she could make changes. She decided she wouldn't eat food she didn't like. She didn't care how well it worked in the plan or how much of it she could have. Any food item that she found herself dreading was not worth expending calories on. She only had so many to work with each day, so she was going to use them on things she liked.

So if you find yourself in a place where you have no goals or, if you do have goals, you find that they make you very unhappy, then it's time to make some changes. The first step to this should be a long bit of self-analysis. Now keep in mind, this isn't the goal-setting process yet. This is just a way to try and understand what your goals really are.

1. What do you want?
   You know, this seems very simple, but on a fundamental level, I don't think a lot of us know this. What do we want out of life? And do not write down things you THINK you should want or things that society TELLS you that you want. Write down things you truly, honestly want. Any honest answer is valid. 
2. Begin to brainstorm.
   Allow yourself to write down things you feel are related to what you want.  Doing clusters really helps with this.
3. What can you do to get what you want?
   This is usually the hardest part of the analysis. Quite often, we tie our wants and desires to other people. It is THEIR actions that we want to change, not ours. The thing is, we can't change other people. We can only change ourselves. So what can YOU do to get what you want? What can YOU change? What could YOU alter? 

This analysis can be frustrating because you may reach a lot of dead ends.  You may find that you just can't do anything to get what you want. Don't let that get you down though, because if you find you're not seeing ways where YOU can change the situation, then you just need to dig deeper into it. Look at what you want and ask yourself what that truly means, what are you really trying to achieve.

I can't stress enough how vital it is that you find goals that YOU can achieve. When you base your happiness and sense of well-being around the actions of others, you are more than likely going to spend most of your time being angry and frustrated. Concentrate on you and how you handle the situation.  You'll feel more powerful and happier.