The Roughest of Days

Alice, during healthier times.

Today was not a good day for my home. Today we had to take Alice to the vet and have her put to sleep. She'd been feeling ill for a couple of days and acting confused. She's never been a truly healthy kitty. She was born with some issues and that just got worse as she grew older. Her first family abandoned her and she lived on the streets for several years until we adopted her.

It turns out that her kidneys were failing. The vet said there was nothing  he could really do to help her, short of just making sure her end wasn't painful. I couldn't bring myself to be inside his office when it happened. I held her during the drive over to his office. My roommate took her inside and stayed with her until the end. He said she was very peaceful and I'm thankful for that. I wanted her to have peace and comfort.

Putting a pet down is always horrible. No matter how much I know it's the right thing to do, I always feel like I've done something wrong. I know that, as a pet owner, part of my responsibilities include knowing when this needs to happen. That doesn't make it any easier. In fact, the only thing that does is knowing that she was in a lot of pain, but now she isn't.  Her time of suffering is over. I just wish that suffering had never happened in the first place.

Alice was an amazing cat. She was tiny and fierce, with a big personality and lots of opinions. She loved my roommate dearly and wanted to be in whatever room he was in. He was her special person and I'm so glad they had each other. I'm going to miss having her around. I'm going to miss her strange little walk and the way she would argue with people. I'm going to miss how happy she looked as she lounged in the sun and the intense way she would eat.

Alice was part of my family, part of my home, and part of my life. She enriched the life I had and added a lot of spice to it. She was beautiful and darling and so, so loved. Now she will be mourned and celebrated.