Crassness

A new season of Big Brother has started, and already I'm wondering if I'll bother to watch.  Even though the show's twist is one I like and they didn't pull anything really stupid, the live feeds of the cast are filtering out into the general public and it seems that a lot of these people are horrible. In fact, this cast has been called the most racist, misogynist, and homophobic yet. I honestly really see no reason why I should support something that is going to promote that kind of thing.

In another installment of "Just Because You CAN do Something, Doesn't Mean You Should," we will talk, once again, about opening our mouths and letting words come out. In America, we live in a country where we have been told all of our lives that we have freedom of speech. And we do and that's awesome! However, as I've written about before, freedom of speech means you can say most stuff without fear of the government showing up and locking you up in prison . . . usually.

What we don't teach children, and should teach them, is that this is ALL freedom of speech means. We have the right to say what we want . . . but that doesn't mean there will be absolutely no consequences. In fact, when we say stuff, there is always consequence. It may not come back to bite us in the ass, but it will be biting someone. This is something we should always keep in mind.

I was talking to a friend earlier and we were discussing the dentist. She mentioned she may have a couple of cavities and I commented that I had no idea what might be lurking in my mouth. Her reply was classic. "Sass," she said.  I laughed, because of course it's true. My mouth and brain contain a lot of sass and I can do hurricane levels of damage with it.

However, over the years, and trust me, it has taken years for me to learn this, I've become aware that my verbal abilities aren't always welcome, needed, or helpful. People don't always like to hear my snark and sometimes it's just not called for. Does this mean I spend my life singing Tori Amos's "Silent All These Years" in my head? No, I still speak my mind when it's needed and I still keep people rather entertained by my strange comments. I just have a better understanding of where and when to do this.

People will lament that editing yourself if falling victim to being 'politically correct,' which they believe to be some liberal bogey man come to steal all our words. Except, it's not a new concept. If you read any publication about manners or how to behave as a 'lady' or a 'gentleman,' you will find the rules of speech are very much the same. A gentleman would never say things to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable. A lady would never say things that would cause her to look ignorant or crass.

And while you may be ignorant or crass or vulgar at home or in your thoughts, and while you can say whatever you want because freedom of speech, do you honestly think this means you can say horrible things in public and there be no consequences? If you do, I suggest you look at actual reality and get past that. It's not true for anyone else and it certainly won't be true for you.

So . . . if you go on a television show, say, like, Big Brother, where you know people will be watching you 24/7, it's probably a good idea to formulate some kind of rules for your conduct. And yes, I mean you, and only you, should do this. As adults, we are capable of setting limitations for ourselves, for setting rules for ourselves, and, most importantly, for setting standards. After all, when this time on television is finished, you will have to go back out into the real world and however you acted on this show is going to be known to millions of people. How you acted and certainly what you said will have consequences.  I have a feeling some of these contestants are going to be quite shocked by this, even though they shouldn't be.