Project Runway started on Thursday and it is its usual train wreck of crazy people, egos, and questionable fashion choices. Most of that goes without all that much note. One thing stood out to me and has been gnawing on my nerves since the show aired. At one point, one of the contestants, a lovely girl who is a former model, mentioned that she thought she would win the challenge. One of the men, also a former model, though much older and less in shape than her, went on the aggressive and chewed her out for being so cocky. While the moment was clearly awkward for everyone involved, no one said anything to him about it.
Lately I've seen a lot of this behavior. People (usually, though not always, men) will verbally assault attractive women with a lot of sudden and uncalled for aggression. It usually starts out that the woman will express an opinion. The other person will be offended by the opinion, even when it wasn't connected to them in any direct way. They will then lash out at the woman as if she just took their first born child, threw it on the ground, and stomped on its head until it died.
This happened to a friend of mine a few months ago. She happened to mention, casually, a fact about her life. Someone on Facebook took offense to this fact and began to berate her about it. He typed several scolding replies, one after the other, onto her original post, and then proceeded to make a large statement on his own Facebook wall about how ridiculous it was that she felt this way.
Keep in mind, she wasn't stating a political opinion. She wasn't talking about someone else or what they had done to her. She was making a statement about something in her life and how she felt about it. It was the equivalent to saying, "Wow, I really love to eat pancakes in the morning." Imagine if you posted that and someone began to bitch at you about it. "NO YOU DO NOT LIKE PANCAKES! HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU DO?"
I don't get it. What are these people trying to prove? Is this some kind of long game PUA thing where they try and make all the pretty girls feel bad ahead of time? Is it some kind of ploy to get the pretty girl's attention without looking like you want it? Were the pretty girls mean to you in high school and now you feel the need to project that pain and suffering on anyone who reminds you of them? Do you think if you put that pretty girl 'in her place' she'll see you as some kind of alpha and like you? There is a remote chance, if her self esteem is low enough, she just might. Everyone else is going to see you as an asshole . . . because you're being an asshole.
Look, I understand that sometimes people need to be called out for what they say. That's most effective when the scolding is warranted and makes sense in the context of the conversation. It also helps if you keep your emotional intensity on a level equal to the situation. Otherwise, you just look like a crazy person.
Well said.
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