Big Mouth Strikes Again

Last night my sister-in-law emailed me to ask me if I was going to ride with them to the party. I had no idea what she was talking about. She then wrote me and said that it was my father's retirement dinner and that she was surprised no one had mentioned it. I was surprised and I also wasn't surprised. No one in the family ever tells me anything until the very last second. She then told me that she wasn't sure it was happening and that she's get back to me.

So this morning I decided to be proactive. I called my dad and asked him if he was having a retirement dinner. "No," he says. "Not that I know of. This is news to me." The issue seemed settled enough. I told him I'd see him in a week or two and we'd celebrate his retirement by playing ghetto flutes. He was happy with the idea and we ended the phone call because no one on that side of the family really likes to talk on the phone all that much.

I felt the whole thing was settled, or at least settled enough. Then I get on FB and have another message from my SIL. The dinner is a surprise dinner for Dad. He doesn't know. And . . . of course, I just told him.

So my heart sank into like the depths of whatever pit of shame people keep inside themselves. And even though I knew this wasn't technically my fault . . . BECAUSE YOU SHOULD TELL PEOPLE ABOUT SURPRISE PARTIES, DAMMIT! . . .I still ruined the surprise and I felt horrible about that.

Needless to say, by this point I was too mortified to go to the event. In some ways this made it worse, but in others, yeah, I just would have been a wide eyed upset mess and that was the last thing my dad needed. In some ways, I don't understand why I never get told these things. The tiny monster that lives next door to that Pit of Shame whispers that it's because they just really don't want me going out in public with them, but that only seems about 38% possible.

The more obvious, but still kind of hurtful answer is that they just didn't think to tell me. They all went about their lives with their various concerns and didn't even think that maybe I should be told about the plans. Which, if that is the case, it's only understandable that everything went sideways. Still, day full of facepalms for me.