Not for Free

I have a friend who used to work as a prostitute. I went to school with her and she's taken a lot of flack for it over the years. When people want to complain about her or insult her, one word always happens before all others. Whore. They call her a whore and expect her to feel bad about it. I hope she doesn't. She did what she did. She made a lot of money doing it. It gave her opportunities that she never would have had otherwise. Did she sell sex? Yes. But so what?

Probably the worst thing that any of us can do is to allow others to dictate what cards we can and cannot play. We tell people not to use their looks to their advantage. We tell people not to use their sexuality to their advantage. We tell people, oddly, not to use their intelligence to its full potential. Stop trying to be the smartest person in the room. Don't count those cards. When people have advantages that we don't have, or that we deem to be unacceptable, we grow angry. We do what we can to stop them.

In the article I talked about yesterday, Dr.Lee was called a whore for wanting compensation for writing. Clearly, the idea of being paid to do something is just outlandish! In our society these days, we seem to feel that a lot of people should just be applying their talents and skills for free. If they don't, then they are being greedy and debased. Really now?

I don't receive any money for this blog, not even advertising, because this blog is profitable to me in a different way. This blog keeps me sane, it's helped to redefine my writing voice, and it lets me rant about whatever happens to pop into my head. As far as I am concerned, that is compensation enough.

But there are some things I don't do for free. I don't edit for free and I am not a reader for other people's work for free. It's actually my friend who used to work a a prostitute who explained to me why I shouldn't do those things for free. These are skills I learned, skills that will take my time, my attention, and my thought processes. If someone wants me to do a good job with these things, they can certainly be sure they will get just that if I am being paid.

People are going to call you names. People are going to judge you. People are going to do whatever they can to get you to yield to their wishes. They're doing this because it's the best way to take advantage of you. It's also the best way to keep you from using YOU to your best advantage. You are your best recourse. Don't forget this and do not let anyone else convince you otherwise.

If you believe you should be paid for something, demand payment. Think about what you believe your skills to be worth and then double that when you ask for payment. There will probably be some negotiations, but you will still probably come out ahead. Don't worry about them thinking you are greedy. It's either you get to be greedy or they do. I think more money is better than 'oh, this asshole doesn't think I'm greedy.'

And yes, sometimes people are going to say they won't pay you for your time, skills, and abilities. Politely decline and walk away. Again, they will probably call you names. And, again, who cares? Better you get called whore than wasting your time and talent doing something for someone who would say that. Know your own worth and demand others know it as well. You're the only one who is going to push the issue to your advantage.