Defining Bravery

I mentioned to some friends that the Discordians were probably right about everything. The more I see how personal identity politics is dividing people online, the more I believe this to be true. It's almost as if we can't find a sense of harmony about anything. We've gotten so tribal that we grow blind to the sicknesses within. We've grown so mistrustful that we can't view anything from 'their side' with even a moment of good will.

Now we're even trying to narrowly define what concepts can mean. I think Caitlyn Jenner and the idea of what it means to be brave is a good example of this. For every person I have seen praising her for her bravery, I see five other people posting memes or writing blogs about how this isn't a brave thing. Being a soldier is brave or a cop or a fireman is brave. Not this.

The journey of being a professional and celebrated male athlete to becoming a woman has not been an easy one. How could it be? And I phrased it the way I did on purpose. This wasn't just a typical guy. This is a man who represented the height of male physical perfection. It's something few can ever attain. And in a culture that celebrates manhood, achieving this kind of perfection is a BIG DEAL.

So the idea that it wouldn't be enough for him probably baffles people. There is an intense emotional reaction to a man of THAT caliber wanting to become a woman. Some of those reactions will be masked in cruel humor. Some reactions will be bitter and angry. Some of those reactions will be of disgust. Some will come with threats of violence.

This all wraps up into how we narrowly define what it means to be a man and how much disgust and hatred is thrown towards anything viewed as 'girly.' We spend a great deal of cultural currency on telling men they shouldn't act like women. Consider even  the examples I used above. Soldiers. Cops. Firemen. Manly professions that celebrate what it means to be a man. Even the women who enter these professions have to be 'tough and strong' and exhibit all the qualities that we tend to celebrate as 'masculine' even though anyone can have them.

I'm not going to deny that running at a fire to stop it isn't brave. It's hellishly brave. Being a cop takes courage, as does being a soldier. But while these professions take courage IN THE MOMENT of when you are actively participating, the rest of the time, you're basically celebrated. Yes, there are some elements of society who don't like soldiers or cops, but even those who don't like them still reserve a certain esteem for them. So, difficult when you are performing the task, but the rest of the time? Performing a valued gender-celebrating profession is socially desirable.

To walk away from a gender-celebrating status like Athlete and say that you wish to live as a woman because you are a woman, is not something done by a coward. To go against everything that our culture teaches you, preaches to you, and constantly reinforces in you is hard. Even your own mind is telling you that women are weak, that women are lesser, that being a woman is the worst thing that you could wish to be.  To accept that you are a woman, even  though you have the cultural benefits and shielding of a man is probably a dark and scary moment.

A man who leads a very public life choosing to become a woman IS brave. Anyone who does something outside of what our culture accepts because they know it is the truth for them IS a brave person. There is some acceptance for Caitlyn, but nowhere near the number of people who now feel it is their DUTY to talk about how horrible this is and how freakish she is and how wrong it is. No, Caitlyn Jenner isn't running into a fire to save people, but unlike that firefighter, she has now crossed a line where social acceptance is marginal, at best. How can you not see that as brave?