The fans have come out. We have a lot of them, so it takes some effort to get them all put into their various locations. I know that in months to come, I will grow tired of them and their noise. For now, however, I welcome it.
As I grow older and ever more sure of what I do and do not wish in my life, I find that chaos and its noise are at the top of my 'DO NOT WANT' list. I want peace. I want calm. I want problems to be met with rational, logical non-emotional responses. I also know I am not good at this. However, it is something I wish to attain and something I intend to work on.
Right now, the fans are helping with that. The fans are loud enough and consistent enough to drown out all the random outside noise. I don't hear dogs barking or cars driving by or people. I can still hear the trains, but no fan is loud enough to stop that. The lack of chaos makes me feel safe and calm and better about things.
For now, the fans are on my side.
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