Barbie Got Back

So there are now four sizes for Barbie dolls. The usual version, I guess we can call that one Barbie Prime, Petite Barbie, Tall Barbie, and Curvy Barbie. Barbies also come in a wide variety of skin/hair color choices and hair textures. At the moment, because the packaging is going to be complicated. You have to purchase all four dolls as a set, which I guess solves one of the problems I had with this in the beginning. "Here, little fat girl! You don't deserve a skinny Barbie! You have to have the fat Barbie!"

The online thing could cause problems for the same reason Pizza Hut currently causes problems. Pizza Hut has so many freaking choices that it makes ordering a pizza take like 20 minutes. There are like ten things you have to decide on with every aspect of it. I think Pizza Hut's variety thing made people avoid it more than anything.

Beyond that, I take issue with this sort of Barbie collective thing. And yes, I know that's coming from someone who calls herself BlackHairedBarbie. The name works, though, because it plays off the traditional brand of the blonde, beautiful, and socially compliant Barbie. You know, the opposite of me. That brand, for better or worse, IS what we think of when we think of Barbie and in our modern society, branding is important. We can't ALL be Barbie and we shouldn't be.

If they have to make other dolls, why can't they all have other names? Why can't Tall Barbie be Faith and Petite Barbie be Emily? Why can't Curvy Barbie be Sophie (or any name that isn't Lulu or Bertha or something else we associate with fat women)? Why can't the Barbies of Color have their own names and their own histories? Why can't we add to the Barbie culture instead of just making everyone Barbie? Barbie used to have friends. PJ and . . . well, there was Skipper. I think she had more. I don't remember. It was a long time ago.

Do I think this is a good idea? I honestly don't know. I did like my dark haired dolls better and I would find ways to make the blonde ones have dark hair when I didn't have brunettes. I would leave the ones with the 'bitchier' faces blonde, though. They were the villains. Is that a good thing? Who knows? I don't hate blondes as an adult and I certainly don't try to look like Barbie.

Kids always play with toys in their own way. Some kids may make Curvy Barbie the mom or the maid. Even some of the heavier kids may do this because when you're a fat kid, you're weirdly taught to view other fat kids as your enemies. I have no idea why that even is, but it's always been the case. The kid that hated me the most in elementary school was a fat boy named James. He hated me because everyone would tease him  that I would be his wife. Fat boy marries the fat girl. Just like we teach women to internalize misogyny, we teach a lot of fat kids to internalize fat hatred.

I think I'm off topic now. Maybe I can console myself by purchasing a blue haired fat Barbie.