I decided to take a look at my blog from last year and see how I was doing. Interestingly enough, I'd done this same thing last year. So just to review, two years ago, I was around six weeks past my hysterectomy. I was deeply, deeply depressed and kind of lacking in any hope.
Last year, I was facing summer depression again, but with a better perspective on it. I knew the causes. Lack of sleep. Lack of appetite. Too many hours feeling sweaty and awful. It's difficult to feel sane when you're damp. Understanding that there were causes for the shitty way I felt helped to ease things. It didn't make the depression go away, but it helped.
It's summer again and my emotions are still all over the place. I actually had one of the more intense panic attacks that I've had in quite a while. However, aside from that, things haven't been too bad. It helps that I'm taking my meds as regular as I can, drinking a lot of water, and spending some time working on physical goals.
What is making more of a difference than anything is the fact that I've never stopped working on crafts. Normally I don't work on anything involving yarn during the summer because it's too hot. This year, I've kept my hands and mind occupied with projects. I always find this kind of stuff to be very meditative and calming for me. A few hours of doing perfectly structured rows can put me in such a better mood.
Again though, this brings back the point I was making in my post about depression last year. Finding something you can control (like working on a project) can really do a lot to ease your mind. You can't control others or their behavior. You can't control what the government or the assholes on the internet are doing. You can only control your actions and your activities. Okay, sometimes not even that, but more so than with anything else.
Anyway, that's the state of things. Emotional, but less messed up than I was last year. FAR less messed up than I was two years ago. Awesome.
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