Small Accomplishments

I think one of the interesting things about getting older is how much your perspective can change on things. When I got home this afternoon, I was tired and hurting, but I still needed to help take trash out to the curb. I did it because I've made a commitment to do so and because I knew this was nowhere near as tired or as in pain I could be.

If 2014 taught me anything, it is that I now know what real exhaustion feels like. I know what unforgiving pain feels like. I know how hard it is to walk through both, but I know I can. Now, during the darkest days of that year, no, I couldn't have taken the trash to the curb. Hell, during the darkest days of that year, I couldn't even clean the cat box.

The thing is, at my level of physical limitation, cleaning the cat box is still tiring. Walking the trash out to the curb is something I dread. These aren't pleasant things for me, but I know I can manage to do them. And yes, I realize for many people, these are small and minor tasks, but they aren't for me. In fact, my roommate still bagged up my trash for me and this was after he'd already taken the majority of it out.

So yes, I am bragging about forcing myself to do a pretty small task. The thing is, I still did it. I fought the pain and the tiredness and the fear of being outside and did it. That may not seem like much to many people, but for me, it's a big deal.

I'm on a lot of FB groups for people who are disabled and ill. One of the things I've learned from these groups is that the day to day tasks can often be too much for one ill person to accomplish. Hell, often they're too much for two ill people to accomplish. Celebrate what you can manage to do, accept what you can't handle that day, and do the best you can with your limited energy. When you're disabled, life is often slower and more complicated. Be happy when  you can manage to push through.