Specifics

Why not just say you want equality?

Why not just say you are a humanist?

I hear this a lot when people find out I'm a feminist. I am sure other people who are promoting the needs of a specific group hear this as well. Why fight for one group and not everyone? Why keep your focus on  this one group instead of humanity?

I really hate these questions.

First of all, they are usually thrown at you to distract you from the point you're trying to make. It's a way to derail your motivation and make it look like you're the bad guy. Yes, in general terms, everyone should have a better life. Everyone. The stupidest element (and most childish) aspect of this question is that one would assume that wanting things to be great for women means you want things to suck for anyone who isn't one.

Second of all, while I support everyone having a good life in general, I see no reason to stop trying to help women to focus on everyone else. Women are coming into this fight from a certain place and that needs to be addressed. Women have issues related to their bodies being women's bodies that need to be addressed. Woman have certain economic issues that need to be addressed. Do men's' bodies and men's economic issues need to be addressed as well? Yes. Other people can do that while I focus on women.

Finally, and most importantly, equality isn't the issue. It never was. It isn't about everyone being handed the exact same thing and that being enough. If one person can't walk and the other person can, the rules of equality would state that you give both of them wheelchairs or neither of them wheelchairs.  One person has a need, the other person doesn't. We have to address the needs of the group and do what we can to meet those needs. That is far more complex than 'everyone gets the same stuff' because needs are more complex than that.

I feel like a lot of women are getting sucked into personal identity politics to the point where it is harmful to them. Instead of learning about themselves and living a life that is full of experience and personal meaning and true joy, they are being told they have to spend all their time and energy on everyone else. If that's what you enjoy, go for it. If not, take some steps back and find a new path. We're not obligated to help everyone.