Whatever pagan came up with the idea of people living without harming anything clearly has never had fleas. I know I've been talking about them a lot, but dammit, it's not even quite June yet and the things are everywhere. It almost makes me regret writing a post about how well we did getting rid of them last year. Clearly, I know nothing. I think the fleas evolved or something with collective ancestor memory and now know what to avoid in our house. Bastards.
The cats have been avoiding the floor as much as possible and two of them chose a three level cart by me as their new sleep area. It was annoying. I kept a lot of stuff on this cart and they would knock it off . . .daily . . . sometimes many times daily. They would also always be on whatever I needed and, of course, generated tons of heat in the process. I let them stay though, because I love them and quite frankly, it wasn't worth the fight to keep them off.
Fleas though . . .fleas are living little creatures. This means they do all the usual things of living creatures, like shit and lay eggs. Lots and lots of shit and eggs. Oh, and the thing is, once the eggs hatch, the larvae feed off of the shit. Isn't that just . . . lovely?
Anyway, so today I scurry the cats off the cart and pick something up from it. This is when I notice that the whole surface was speckled with flea shit. I groan and decide it certainly needs to be cleaned AGAIN (I'd just cleaned it a few days before).
This is when I noticed that some of the black bits on the surface of the cart . . . . WERE. . . . MOVING!
The flea eggs had hatched and larvae were writhing on my cart . . . right by me.
There truly is no word for the level of revulsion I felt in this moment. I was horrified. Like, chamber full of rats horrified. Like maggots in someone's mullet horrified. I screamed. I got a little ill. And then I started scrubbing the bejesus out of everything.
The cart was taken outside, sprayed off, scrubbed, sprayed again, scrubbed, moved the hell away from me and the cats and other potential living things. My roommate and I honestly thought we had a better handle on the flea issue. Yeah, we were wrong. We'd been vacuuming and washing things and using spray and lavender and setting out plates and everything like before . . . and yet, MORE FLEAS AND THEIR NASTY FLEA BABIES.
Well, I tell you this, fleas, I saw your young and I destroyed them. I smashed out their little young lives and ended all chances they had at climbing on to me or a cat and sucking at our life's blood. I destroyed your young and I will destroy you.
And when you enter your collective ancestral memory, you will know my face and fear! Bwahahahaha!
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