I think I just scratched my head with flea eggs on my fingers. No, no. I'm going to believe it is just cat dander. JUST CAT DANDER.
Anyway, this week has proven to have a lot of sexual discussion to it. Often, not in a good way. Or, rather, not in a comfortable way. In some cases, the discomfort was even in my part. That isn't what this post is about, but it did inspire it. I am writing about that, but it's a lot to process, so it will post when it posts. In the meantime, I thought I'd start with one that challenges a lot of others.
Asexuality is the basic idea that you're just not interested in sex. Now, this isn't the same as being celibate, which means you have an interest in sex but don't participate (either by your own choice or otherwise). Asexuality means you really just don't care to participate at all. It's not important to you. This also isn't the same as being aromantic, where you have no interest in romantic relationships. Many asexuals have boyfriends/girlfriends and many also go on to marry. It's just that their marriages don't include sex.
Many more of these marriages have happened recently because asexuals have found kinship and community online. They have groups where they can discuss their non-sexual lives and find common bonds with others. Some people have wondered why finding communities is needed, but I get that.
The reason I get it is because of sports. People around me are really really into sports. A lot of them are into football, the majority of them, in fact. There are some who like soccer, but that number is far smaller. Some people like both. And while all of these groups may like different types of sports, they all like sports. I don't. At all. I don't even understand the appeal of it. So yes, if I can find people to talk to about how we don't like sports and why that's perfectly valid, I see nothing wrong with other people seeking out like-minded individuals about whatever they're not interested in that everyone else seems gaga over.
i09 ran an article about asexuality, especially how it relates to scifi. Some people in the comments were fairly responsive. Others, however, were dismissive to openly hostile to the idea of being asexual. Some argued that it has to be a disability. Others saw it as people being self-centered or maybe a mild mental disorder.
Others talked about how it was just flat out wrong. They argued that humans have a biological imperative to be sexual. To go against this, they said, was clearly in indication of hormonal imbalance or "something." And while I didn't specifically read this, I'm sure some people probably believe asexuality is a result of some kind of sexual trauma.
I'm not an asexual, but I understand the appeal. Being able to free yourself from the desire for others and the bullshit that goes along with that is a rather nice idea. And I do believe in rather nontraditional relationships. My chosen lifemate is someone with which I am both nonsexual and nonromantic. However, I am still committed to this person to the same depth that I would be were things sexual and or romantic. Hell, I'm probably more committed because of the lack of those things.
It's interesting, really, how much sexuality and non-hetronormative lifestyles upset people, especially when said concepts really have nothing to do with others. I know that statement sounds way judgy, but I really don't mean it to be. Like I said, I'll be delving into some of my own areas of discomfort. We'll see how it goes.
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