Philosophy of Inner Drives: Destructive Tendencies

I am a firm believer in Destruction.  While I have Will, am Creative, and tend towards some rather addictive tendencies where Preservation is concerned, I consider myself a champion of Destruction.

I'm not talking about self-destruction here.  Though, we all know I can do that quite well. Actually, a lot of self-destructive behaviors are not due to the driving force of Destruction, but from an off balance drive of Preservation. At least, they tend to be in my case.  No, what I'm talking about is the principle that things should end, things should change, and things should be driven apart.

As I stated when I talked about Preservation, I think we hold onto things for too long.  In fact, quite often we tend to hold them with a death grip.  We don't let go of the bad relationship, we keep trying to fix it.  We don't quit the horrible job, we just accept that it's the best we can do. We stay in fixed position, miserable, filling ourselves with cliches.  "The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don't." "Don't throw away a marriage. Fix it."

I always warn my friends about my advice giving. I don't, often, encourage people to fix things. Most often, my advice goes along the lines of "If it's not working for you, walk away from it." Quit your job. Change majors. End your marriage. People will tell me it's not that simple, and I know it's not.  At least I planted the idea though. Once we realize that we can end things, even if we don't quite see how yet, we begin to find ways to be able to do so.

As we live in a culture that values Preservation above all things, we tend to feel Destruction is almost taboo. I know people who would never consider divorce, simply because it can't happen for them. Yes. That is right. Even though it is legal and in many cases necessary, they are convinced it isn't an option allowed to them.

I believe that until you take ownership of your power to destroy a thing, you will always have a level of fear of that thing. Now, I'm not talking about shooting people here or even injuring them. I'm talking about the ways in which your life ties to theirs. Do you have an overbearing mother?  Accept that you can end your relationship with her and never speak to her again. You CAN walk away. Once you know you can walk away, you suddenly have more power in the situation.

Make a list of the things or people who make you the most miserable in your life. Then write down the length of time you believe they will be in your life.  After that, consider how long you truly believe you can emotionally handle them (it).  If the numbers don't equal, it might be time for you to start thinking about ways to walk out of the situation.