What A Girl Wants

Dear politicians,

As this is political season and you all seem interested in gaining my favor, I thought I'd take a little time to talk to you about what I would like from you.  If the number of calls you've made to my phone is any indication, I'm guessing you truly desire to understand what I need and want from you.

I would like for you to stabilize the economy.  I realize this means some cuts and sacrifices for a while, but that's okay. I would like for you to start with yourselves. Most of you are rich bastards anyway, so a few years of lower income won't hurt you.  I'm not saying you should work for free. That would be wrong!

I think you should be paid minimum wage. Yes, that's right! If you believe most Americans can live off of this just fine, I'm sure you'd relish the chance to prove the point. So . . . minimum wage . . . and not for a fixed salary. This will be paid by the hour that you actually clock in and work through. 

Secondly, I would like for you to stop letting corporations influence you.  No more laws that favor big business over everyone else. No more laws that try to let things like SOPA through.  Just fucking stop that.  No one wants laws like this . . . well, no one besides idiots who refuse to understand that their movies don't make money because their movies SUCK.  Seriously though. If our country is going to allow influence to be bought in this manner, please stop trying to say we're a free society. Clearly, we wouldn't be.

Third, stay the hell out of my private decisions. The government has no business in who I marry, who I sleep with, or what kind of birth control I use. It's not your concern. These are private matters that should be decided by private citizens. Not the government and certainly not politicians who aren't serving their constituents as much as they are serving some other agenda.

Fourth, please stay out of the media. If you want to set up a Twitter account where you tell people how you're budgeting you minimum wage job and discussing the information you read from the bills that you are actually studying now (because you will study them now!  It means another hour's worth of payment!), that is fine.  If you want to set up a Facebook page where people can tell you how they view an issue, that's fine too.

However, I'm really tired of politicians famewhoring. No getting your own TV shows or saying disruptive things to get attention or causing scandals. Dammit, just do your job and show some dignity!  You're a Senator, not Paris Hilton!  Stop demanding as much attention as she does (or did).

Finally, and most importantly, please try not to become evil.  Don't be one of these people who says women who are beaten by their husbands should just find a way to work it out or someone who says it can be argued that money is more important to men than it is to women.  Please don't scream at people, exclude people from discussions, or spread lies about weapons or mass destruction or if you had sex with people you shouldn't have been fucking.  Just please, please stop it.

While we're at it, please don't make bigoted statements against people who make up part of the population of your district. No matter where you happen to be serving, I'm sure at least someone is not the same color as you or gay or an atheist or something else. Remember that you represent these people as well, and they are not the enemy.

Yeah, I guess that's about it.  I'm sure a lot of this may confuse you (like the concept of minimum wage and hourly pay), but I'm sure you have some researchers who can explain it to you.  I'm sure you'll read my list and happily comply once you understand it.  And if you don't, well, I can always try and vote your ass out next time.

Toodles,

BHB