I just spent 45 minutes trying to put a smaller size earbud condom on my earbuds. I bet there is a place in Hell where the punishment is just doing little frustrating tasks like this and they never end. I'd rather be set on fire than deal with another set of earbud condoms. The earbuds were really super cheap so it was worth it to get them. I dislike them as a rule because you have to stick them INSIDE your ears and we all know how much I hate being penetrated. I operate with three things that need headphones at all times though, so I can't pass up cheap functioning ones. Even if penetration is involved.
Speaking of being penetrated, this brings me to my topic for the evening. As always . . . well, okay, as often as I can remember I do this, I allowed someone else to choose my topic. Tonight, I am to talk about things I'd rather not do. I could write a million things here and probably many of them would be repeats from earlier posts. In the spirit of not boring the shit out of everyone, I'll try to keep this fresh.
1. I would rather not eat yogurt. I do eat it, because I know it's good for me. I tend to feel better when I eat it on a regular basis, but if I didn't have to for those reasons, I would never eat the stuff. Having said that, I've found a way to make it tolerable. I mix cereal into it and it's decent. Props to my roommate for making that happen.
2. I would rather not meet your significant other. I can think of like three times I've ended up enjoying the company of one of my friends' significant others. Those times were lovely and magical. The rest of the time, it's just a huge ball of awkward and bad. Most of the time, people's SOs end up just being horrible. I quite hate them and very quickly can't NOT show that. So, really....if we're friends, don't bother introducing me to your whomever. I'd rather not deal with it.
3. I'd rather not go in your restaurant. Drivethrus are so awesome. I love them so much because I really do not want to walk inside your restaurant. I don't want to deal with your crappy chairs and your crappy tables and your bad lighting and your horrid decor. I don't want to listen to children scream or whine or bitch. I don't want to watch people making out or see how really dirty the place is. No, instead, I would rather drive to a window, pick up my food, and have as little human contact as possible.
4. I'd rather not wear color. You know, for me, it's not really a goth thing for the all black clothing. It's not even really a fat girl thing. It's more about just the evenness of the tones. Black all matches the other black. I never have to worry about what kind of clashing hell the colors are doing. It's not that I don't grasp the concept of color. I do. I just don't want to deal with it.
5. I'd rather not talk in the phone. This one is odd, because back in the day, I was a marathon phone talker. I would spend hours on the phone and enjoy every second of it. These days? Ehh. I'd rather just type something at you. I can plan that out and put some thought into it before just blurting out something or rambling on and on. If there is an uncomfortable silence, we can both pretend it's lag.
Well, so there you have it. Five things I'd rather not do. I still end up doing most of them, but I don't do it with glee, happiness, or joy. Though, oddly this discussion has made me rather happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment