Poorshaming

On Facebook, a friend of mine was talking about how angry she is at people who will make comments about folks on food stamps who have iPods and nice purses and great clothing. There are a lot of memes that go around about this. "Look at those awful poors! All they do is take stuff away from the rest of us!"

So I'm sitting here, typing this on my iTouch and thinking about how close to home this is hitting.  From the first picture I uploaded, I was aware there would be people who would realize I was using some kind of Apple tech and start feeling all judgy about it because it's fairly well known that I'm poor. I shouldn't care what people think, but there are some issues where that gets difficult.

After reading my friend's post about how she planned on defriending people who posted the poorshaming meme, I realized that being concerned about how having the iTouch would be perceived was stupid on my part. I was poorshaming myself about it. I was acting like, due to my station in life, I didn't deserve it and that is just wrong. I didn't pay for this thing, but I have sustained a friendship for 20 years with someone who loves me enough to give her stuff to me when she no longer needs it.

See, the problem with people's logic about how the poor folk be spending their money is that they just don't comprehend the level of skills many of us have that keep us going. They don't realize that there are poor people who know how to shop bargain stores to find the best stuff. They don't get that they are looking for the best stuff, not because of the name brand, but because it's better quality and will probably last longer.

I knew a girl in high school who had probably the most stunning collection of clothing anyone could have during the early 1990s. Everything looked great on her. She looked like she spent a fortune on her clothing, but she didn't. She knew how to sew and made everything she wore. She even made her prom dresses.

The sad thing is, and this is another way in which we're taught to poorshame ourselves, my friend, who could sew anything and looked amazing in it? She was ashamed of her sewing. She felt bad that all her stuff was homemade and always thought people were making fun of her whenever they talked about how good she looked. This really kills me because she had enough seamstress skills that she could have really done great things in the fashion industry.

Look, we all judge people. I know I do. I also know that it's stupid and often wrong. Next time you see some poor person doing things of which you don't approve, take a few minutes to consider that perhaps there is more going on that meets the eye. It probably won't change the poor person's life, but it might help you to pull out of that seething pit of self-righteousness.