Gender Fatigue

All weekend long, I've been in this steadily increasing place of emotional fatigue, basically to the point of just wanting to shut down. I know why, of course. The Elliot Rodgers shootings and his manifesto about how horrible women are has put the discussion about misogyny back in the public light, with women discussing the things that have happened to them and people reacting in predictable and usually horrible ways about it.

At the end of the day, I think I'm experiencing gender fatigue. I'm just tired of being female. I'm just tired of all the bullshit that comes along with it. I'm just tired of the fact that I'm a woman alters how people view my rights in terms of money, safety, and even control over my own body. It is exhausting to have to deal with and I'm tired of it.

That isn't to say that I want to be a man. I would never want to be a man. I just wish I was genderless. I wish that was an option for all of us. Or maybe, I wish we could hide our gender from people and just function as a neutral party, with no one ever knowing what we are unless we actually CHOSE to reveal it to them. Wouldn't that be divine? If the only reason someone found out you were a woman was because you actually trusted them enough to let them know?

Wouldn't it be nice to meet people without the expectation of you acting one way or the other? You could just be judged on your wit and charm and cleverness, without someone questioning why a person of your gender would act that way. Wouldn't it be nice to never have expectations of your physical abilities? You could play sports without someone wondering why a guy sucks so much at said sport or why a girl is so aggressive? Wouldn't it be nice to get to have friendships with people without them trying to turn it into something more? It would be so nice to just be 'a person.'

That isn't possible though. Instead we have to navigate the world with our gender on display, with people making their judgments and reacting to us accordingly. That really suck sometimes.