Responsible Until You're Not

Things are off this week due to some stuff that has to do with me. This wouldn't be so bad, except it's also the first of the month. This means that on top of shopping needing to happen, bills have to be paid in a timely fashion. Sometimes it feels like everything piles up at once. It's frustrating and tiring. Still, there is nothing that can be done about it. As much as we try, quite often life gets in the way of our schedules. I don't like this. If you read the blog often, you know I don't like this.

Lately, a lot of stuff as been a big lesson in WHAT I CAN CONTROL versus WHAT IS BEYOND MY CONTROL. There are new things I'm having to be responsible for. I'm having to remember discussions, terms, rules, and procedures, all the while knowing that while it is important that I do the checklist of things regulated to me, past that, nothing is really in my hands. I'm just a passive part of what is happening.

It's like the renewal forms for benefits. There are several things you have to make sure you have. You have to fill out the forms and turn in all the paperwork. You must make sure everything is copied and turned in on time. You have to keep the stuff with you, almost constantly, to make sure if something IS NOT there, you can make another copy and submit that one. Past all of this, there is NO ONE THING you can do to control the situation. It is completely in someone else's hands.

I think this is maybe one of the most difficult things to accept as an adult. When you're a kid, and you have basically no control over anything, you believe that adulthood will change all of that. It doesn't. Not at all. As an adult, you have some basic things you can make decisions about, and past that, almost everything else is out of your hands. It's a hard lesson to learn. Most of the time you're just doing your best to hope you didn't screw anything up or forget anything or offend anyone. Past that, there is little you can do.