Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day Weekend, which means I'll be seeing my uncle! This isn't a tradition we planned, it just happens that his school reunion (which is an every year thing) is on the same weekend as Mother's Day. I don't have a mother any more and neither does he. My SIL's mom is usually out of the state. As it stands, we've found that we end up spending the holiday together.

In a lot of ways, I find this comforting. It's easier, actually, then spending the holiday with my mom or my grandmother. They were both always high strung and nervous on Mother's Day and that didn't make things easy for anyone. I'd rather things be nice and low key, easy to handle and easy to deal with. It's better when there aren't the high stakes expectations those two women used to put on each other.

I guess if I wished anything for them, it would have been that they didn't do that to themselves. I wish they could have relaxed and just enjoyed the day. Hell, I wish they could have just relaxed. Neither of them were ever very good at relaxing. They were both always so ON. They were both always so nervous and jumpy. Sometimes I think they felt like that was how life had to be. If that is the case, it makes me deeply sad that they felt that way.

My uncle isn't a nervous person. He tends to be more laid back and relaxing to be around. Clearly whatever memo my mother and grandmother got about behavior was not sent to him. It wasn't sent to me either. Or rather, it was, but I choose to ignore it. I can have my moments of nervousness, but I try not to let it be my constant state of being. That gets tiresome and boring. I'd rather relax.

Cats help a lot.