Happiness as Defined by Apathy

I read an article today about why Gen Xers are the most happy generation. There were a lot of solid reasons for it, though I think a lot of it boils down to just two basic concepts. And no, I don't believe this only applies to my generation. However, these are things we've had in practice for a long time so maybe it's slightly easier for us.

To begin with, finding happiness helps when you're not aspiring for 'the best.' The is probably nothing more happiness-wrecking than wanting 'the best.' It's not enough that you are a mother, you suddenly feel pressure to be The Best mother. If you don't achieve that, then you've failed. You can't just have a car, you need to  have The Best car, otherwise, you're not trying hard enough. You have a girlfriend? Awesome. But if she's not The Best looking girlfriend, then you should keep trying to find a new one.

People who feel they must be, or feel entitled to always have The Best will never be happy people. There will always be someone better than you. Someone will always have the newer computer, the better job, the hotter lover. If you're always looking for something new, you'll never see the value in what is around you. If you always feel you have to accomplish more, you'll never feel the satisfaction of what you've already accomplished.

One of the reasons it's important to focus on what you have at the moment is that it's going to go away. I think Gen X people were raised to be aware that nothing is forever. Marriages fall apart. Economies tank. People die. And, of course, we grew up thinking that we'd all be killed by nukes from Russia. Then one day, even communism began to fall apart.

Nothing lasts forever. Everything is temporary. Even the things that feel like they last forever (like chronic illness, for example), alter over time as we learn to adjust for them. Jobs disappear. People die. Homes fall into sinkholes. Nothing in our lives is going to last. Nothing.

And while this may seem like a reason to be UNhappy, it really isn't once you learn to cope with it. One of my best friends once said he could get through even the most horrible college class if he just focused on the fact that it would eventually end. I got through the fear of my surgery by thinking about how things would be after the fact. There is always a beyond. There is always a 'past this.'

Knowing that also helps you to remember to focus on the Now. I have a 13 yr old cat and I know she won't be with me for long. Sometimes I'll watch her sleeping and her cute little poses and savor that. It's a temporary joy I am blessed to have right now. There is so much peace in the time I spend with her. I know it's fleeting. I know I will always love her, but my actual time with her is limited. I can either focus on annoying things that make me unhappy, or live in these moments of joy with her.

So, what some more happiness in your life? Try these two things. Accept that everything in your life is temporary. Enjoy the hell out of the good stuff and remember the bad stuff will eventually go away. In the meantime, don't feel like you have to be the best to be deserving. More importantly, don't feel like if you don't have the best that you're not getting what you deserve. Enjoy what you have right now. It may make all the difference.