Happiness Revisited

I used to write a lot about happiness. Remember that? It was quite a few years ago. Anyway, I read something today that reminded me about the fact that I used to write about happiness and I thought I'd discuss it again. At least this once.

The article in question was about a woman who had lost 150 lbs. In her case, this was half her body weight. Losing 150 lbs is monumental. It is an amazing thing to accomplish, no matter what method you use. She knows it is monumental, and yet, she feels her life is 10 times harder now than it used to be. She gave a lot of reasons, but I think it comes down to a problem that a lot of people have when it comes to the concept of happiness.

Happiness isn't a destination. It's not some place you arrive at whenever you accomplish a certain set of goals. It's not a prize that falls down on you whenever you achieve the stuff you wanted to achieve. Happiness isn't a conclusion that comes to you when you've succeeded. People think happiness is a reward, but it isn't.

Happiness is a mindset. It is a way of viewing the world. It is finding the goodness and the joy in whatever moments offer them.  Happiness isn't something you 'get' when you decide you 'deserve' it. It's not something that comes to you when certain criteria are met. You won't be happy 'when I get out of this town' or 'when I get a girlfriend' or 'when I get married.' Yeah, sure, some of those things may afford you new and different opportunities for happiness,

But if you are used to viewing happiness as a reward, you may not be able to take those opportunities. You may not even see them.

Negative thought patterns become habitual. We get used to our minds focusing in that way and when things aren't as bad as they could be, some people actually start looking for NEW THINGS to be negative about. Our culture encourages this. "Sure you may have everything a person could want, so how about you feel awful about politics?" Suddenly people who have all of their needs met find themselves constantly angry because someone else doesn't share their values.

You have to practice happiness. You have to look for the good in each day. You have to take moments to enjoy what is going on around you. As you work towards your goals, you have to spend time enjoying the process. And you SHOULD enjoy the process, because it's what you are actually living through at the moment.

The truth is, when you reach your goals, a whole other mountain of problems and challenges are going to appear. The goal itself may feel hallow and empty. You may question why you spent all this time working toward it. You may wonder why you bothered. And yes, you may begin to believe that life BEFORE the goal was reached was easier.

If you have Depression, that is another matter. You need some chemicals balanced to let you be happy. If you don't though, start looking at the good around you NOW. Look at the blessings you have NOW. Stop focusing on all the negative things that happen. Stop investing all your faith into a future event that may or may not happen and enjoy what is around you at this moment. You lost weight? Awesome! Celebrate that. Celebrate the hell out of that and don't focus on all the things you thought would come from it that didn't. Look for stuff that will.

And yes, I realize I'm writing this from MASSIVE privilege. I know a lot of people's current situations are horrible and they DO need to leave them. I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm saying that leaving them won't make you happy. Only you can make you happy.