Documenting the Change

Because I blog almost every day and probably because my memory and sense of reality are usually wonky, I tend to forget that I've only been blogging for about two years now.  I was thinking it had to at least be three, but that's only my emotional perception. The blog has changed so much about my life. It has helped to add order and structure to my days. It's also giving me a nice documentation of how I'm doing.

Two years ago, I posted about words I find to be funny. It's a cute post, but it's very clearly an 'early blog' post. It's the kind of thing you would say during a second or third date with someone. It wouldn't be something you said off the cuff either. It would be this kind of semi-rehearsed bit of conversation designed to make you look quirky, smart, and just a little strange. "Hey, so . . . I'm really weird. I'm funny too though. If you run right now, my feelings won't be hurt."

At first I didn't think this post said much about me, but I have to keep in mind that during these early months of blogging, I was still getting my feet wet. Every blog post I did was kind of scary. I felt so vulnerable when I would hit 'publish.' I almost always felt very happy too, because hitting that button meant one more day that I didn't stop blogging.

Last year, I wrote about how stem cells in a woman's body altered her DNA to accept a new kidney. I was really excited about this. To me, the idea of the body altering itself, changing its very foundation, in order to stay alive is amazing. This kind of mutation and alteration in order to continue displays the truth depth of our evolutionary prowess. 

This post was written during a time when my ideas about health, healing, and the body were beginning to do a dramatic shift. It was about this time that I began to focus on and truly believe in the idea of healing via strength. It's an idea that I've carried with me since then. It's the idea behind my plan for weight loss.

When I did the second post, I was less self-conscious about the ME aspect of the blog. Well over a year into this, I knew my voice and how to express it. I knew how to let the inspiration for the post be the center of my attention. This kind of divorce from my ego has allowed me to become a better writer. In a lot of ways, it's helped me to become a stronger person.