In my therapy book, we've been exploring the idea of understanding versus accepting. The author pointed out, and I believe correctly so, that we sometimes think that if we understand the 'why' of something, this means we also have to accept it as just the way things are.
For example, 'I didn't relieved a lot of affection as a kid and this has made me standoffish to affection as an adult' is an understanding of why you don't want to be touched. 'No one hugged me as a kid so I guess no one will ever touch me as an adult' is taking that same concept and believing it to be the end of things. This is rarely the case.
I'm trying to use this concept in as many areas of my life as possible. Today, I tried it with a hot flash. I understood what was happening. I'm getting use to the sudden rush of fever that seems to radiate from the core of my being. It's still odd at first. 'Why am I feeling this way? I wasn't sick like three seconds before . . .' are what pops into my head as it happens. Then it's the wave of nausea, though that varies from flash to flash. Today it was only slight, which was good because I was just about to eat breakfast.
So I sat there and munched on my popsicles. I did my best to ease through the moment and understand that it was just a hot flash and not the end of the world. I reminded myself that I didn't need to panic. It would be over soon. It's just part of this process and I'm doing what I can to make it as reasonable as possible. I didn't let it get to me and I'm certainly going to see if my doctor has any suggestions for how to make them less horrible.
In the meantime (or if she can't do anything about them), I will have to accept that they are part of my life now. However, they are a temporary part, just few minutes of heat and nausea, then things calm back down. I can live with that. My ancestresses did.
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