I finished my first commissioned hat today. I made a little extra on it because I finished it quickly, which made me quite happy about the whole thing. It actually made the hat more profitable as well. I need to get more confident about this. Emotionally, it was difficult to let the hat go. I could see every flaw on it and felt it wasn't worth being sold. Part of this means I need to continue to improve. The other part of it kind of explains why I'm poor. I have this strange sense of guilt when I get paid for doing things that I should be paid to do. It's so strange.
I guess it's one of the reasons I don't monetize and/or promote this blog. I love the blog and I consider myself a blogger, but the idea of making money off of it would probably destroy it. My motivations would change. I think my content would change. If you read this blog, I am assuming it's because you get the organic me (in whatever mood I happen to be in) and I'm not sure you would get that any more if I was being paid to do it. You'd get me trying to be clever and entertaining on purpose . . . which would probably suck.
At the same time, I know that my creations are my strength and if I'm going to make an independent living, that is how I could do it in the way that made me the most happy. There is such a feeling of accomplishment when a project is finished. I want to write and draw and make dolls. I want to make money doing these things. And yet some impulse holds me back from it.
I think I have the topic for my next therapy session.
It takes time and a lot of self-pep-talks. For a long time, I had the idea in my head that no one would pay for my stuff. But when I got over trying to make it more complicated than it needed to be, and just put it out there in the Universe, the customers came when I needed them. I quoted fair prices and no one argued. The key is to start by selling to people you know. Etsy can be discouraging because you are just one little fish in a big sea of crafters, but people you know are more likely to buy something you made because YOU made it. You do great work...you've totally got this. :)
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