Research and Reflection

I did a lot of research today about bleeding issues and hysterectomies. I know that no amount of research really prepares one for the real thing, but at least I have a better idea now. It isn't as encouraging as I had hoped. Then again, I was thinking this was kind of like getting the cat fixed. A night at the vet's and then the cat comes home, staggers around until the drugs wear off, and then they're basically fine.

Even the most gentle of hysterectomies will still leave me in the hospital for one to two days after, possible complications, bleeding for another two weeks (though not this HellBlood) and unable to lift stuff or drive for a month to six weeks afterward. Maybe it won't be that bad, but it is best to be prepared.

Maybe it won't come to that. Perhaps there will be other ways to handle the bleeding. It doesn't look hopeful though. With almost everything I have read, removal is usually the only way to stop it completely. It's less of a big deal to me than to other women. I never wanted kids.  Still, losing a part of one's self is still a loss. There will be mourning involved and rituals to grieve. I'm not happy about it, but then again, if the uterus wanted to stay, she shouldn't have become such a bitch.

The meds they gave me have slowed things down, but the bleeding hasn't stopped completely. I'm hoping for enough of it to subside tomorrow for me to do human things like shower and maybe drive my roommate to the store. I'm also going to call my doctor and tell her what happened on Friday. Maybe she can get the ball rolling on removal or more meds or something.

I would love to say that the blog won't keep being about my female troubles, but I suspect it will be. Sadly, this is kind of dominating my life right now. Well, that and the green beans my roommate cooked for lunch. They were so good!

I think if anything good is coming out of this hellhole, it is a new perspective I have on food. I've always eaten when I wanted to and not waited until I was crazy levels of famished. Food tastes amazingly better when you're hungry though. The fact that it tastes so good that way is helping me keep from eating between meals or too late in the evening . . . well, that and the fact that I really don't feel like walking into the kitchen. Did I mention I almost fell while trying to get a coke this morning? Yup, that is my life right now.