Perimenopause is the Worst

WARNING: Graphic discussion of blood and vagina.

I didn't blog last night because I was sick and depleted from what most websites blandly refer to as 'irregular periods.' This seems so simple, so innocent, so unhorrible. Sure, it's not the normal way of things, but it's just a little irregular. It happens quite often to women during perimenopause. If you don't know the term, perimenopause is this place of  jolly, fun years before menopause, when you experience hot flashes, night sweats, and irregular periods.

Le me tell you about those irregular periods, just so you don't freak out when your time comes. It's kind of like giving birth, but instead of having a kid when it's finished, you have a lot of goopy blobs of nasty clots. These clots are bigger than your tampon and will knock it out of your body. To help the clots move, you get to bleed and bleed. At some points, you feel like you've bled all the blood you have and should probably go get some more. You will not feel strong enough to get more.

You will not want to leave the house. You won't feel like it is safe. At any moment, you could start the horrible 'push out the clot' processes again. You will feel trapped and alone. Just remember you're not alone. A lot of women go through this. A lot of women don't talk about it, because it is gross and terrifying and, in a strange way, you feel like you've gone through something violent.

When your body finally decides to stop doing this part, you get to enjoy the intensely painful experience of your cervix contracting back into shape. That feels like hell, but it is a good kind of hell, because at least you know the scary clot part is over . . . for a while.

I have been told this is due to estrogen levels spiking while progesterone levels are low. I am going to try and get something done about this. Hopefully it will help. Otherwise, I will probably fall over dead from blood loss. As painful as this has been, I kind of won't care.