Very Tiring Baby Steps

It is about 3:30 pm and I have gone almost 36 hours without any kind of major blood mess. There has been some spotting, but nothing dramatic or scary. My body still feels strange and I sometimes feel that ickiness in the pit of my stomach, but for many, many hours now, I have gone without an incident. I am very thankful for this. Even if it starts back, the fact that I was given this many hours in a row without anything happening is wonderful.

My life got another normal aspect returned to it today. I got to visit my best friend.  This is the first time we have seen each other all year and it is almost nearly the end of January. I went to her house and spent some hours there, although I had my roommate pick me up at two. I probably could have stayed longer, but I just didn't want to chance it.

When we got home, I took some time to rest, but then managed to get my trash out to the curb. Last week I was too weak to even do that. Last week it was all I could do to manage to bag the trash and hand it to my roommate for him to take out with his portion. I got it outside today, but by the time I was back in the house, I was exhausted. I sat in the laundry room for a good ten minutes and tried to catch my breath. I'm still very fatigued from all of this, but on the bright side, not as much as I was last week.

There has been just enough emotional trauma over this to make me paranoid about the whole thing. You'll notice I'll still doing my posts early, because I have no idea what kind of shape I'll be in by midnight. I'm also checking myself like a mama checks a baby, just to insure blood isn't about to gush everywhere. I still worry about any situation where I may need to bend and as humans we bend a lot. I still worry that things could go back to being as bad as they were and that my uterus wasn't sloughing off what was in it so much as just refilling again and again.

But for now, I'm going to bask in my nonbloody state. I'm going to view the tiring baby steps back to my normal life as victories. I'm going to appreciate what I have. I'm going to sit with oxygen on because I'm about as winded as a was 150 lbs ago.