Two Weeks Until

Two weeks from tonight, I will know my fate. I will know if I still have cancer, even after the removal of my uterus. I will know if I will need more treatment, such as chemo or radiation. I will know if I had to have everything c sectioned from my body, meaning a longer and more painful recovery. I will know if there were complications that are going to affect my life from now on. Two weeks from now, a lot of questions will be answered. I may not like those answers, but I will have them. In this situation, knowing is far better than not knowing.

It is strange to think about. Two weeks from now, I won't be sitting here, in the comfort of my own home, typing to you about what is going on. I'll be in another city, in a hospital bed, vulnerable to the people around me. I'll probably still be hooked to an IV. I'll probably need assistance if I have to get up. I'll probably feel on display and frightened and want nothing more than to be back in my own home. I'll do my best not to cause problems for the people tending to me. I may not have a lot of control over that. I may not have a lot of control over anything.

Some questions have been answered about travel arrangements. I'm happy with the answers and grateful for how things are going in that department. I'm also grateful for this weekend, because this weekend is happening Before Things Get Serious. I'm going to do my best to try and make this weekend smooth and relaxing. I'm hoping for as little stress as possible and will be very grateful to all people and all the universe if they can help me make that happen.

Next week, some items have to be bought in preparation for my surgery. There is a washing ritual I will need to begin a week before, involving keeping my abdomen as free of any contaminants as possible. Friday of next week, I go to my pre-opp appointment. It will be the first time I see the hospital where my uterus will be removed and I need to ask some questions about how things will go down on the Thursday following. I'll need to make a list. I'll also need to make a list of all the stuff I'll be packing for the trip. I know not everyone likes lists, but in this situation, I think they could be quite helpful for me.

But in two weeks from tonight, all of that will be behind me. I'll be on to the next stage of whatever this rather humbling and terrifying reality bring me. I'm really hoping for something LESS humbling and terrifying. That would be quite nice.