It's cooled down again and I have a cat on my lap. I would be happier about this if she would stay still, but she won't. She's decided to be as difficult as possible tonight. I shall forgive her though, because I love her so dearly. Love often causes us to put up with things we would normally not tolerate. It helps that she's cute.
For some reason, love has been on my mind of late. I honestly have no idea why. It isn't like I'm participating in the act. Oh, I do mean romantic love here. Not the other types.
I think maybe I've been thinking about it because I've seen a lot of people talking about it. They lament that they cannot find love or that they're alone. They worry they will always be this way. At some point after that, they usually begin on this massive list of their ideal person. They talk about what they will look like, how they will act, the way they will behave together.
It's all well and good to have standards. I get that. I think we should all know the things we are willing to put up with and the things that should not be tolerated in a relationship. However, these should be broad, general things. "Person takes baths." "Person doesn't abuse me." It shouldn't be little picky detail things like the color and length of their hair or the shape of their smile. And while sure, those may be things you are attracted to, they shouldn't make you blind to everyone else.
The problem with searching for an Ideal person, is that it's a losing situation. Either you will never find someone meets your ideal or you will find someone who is close to it, but never really be happy with them. The problem with wanting an ideal mate is that you love the ideal, not the other person. You love how close they are to fitting your checklist, but not the truth of who they are.
In the meantime, how many potential people are you missing? How many 'not so pretty' or 'not that smart' people who also happen to have good hearts and loving ways are being passed by because everyone wants some perfect person? The truth is, when you love someone, truly love them, their imperfections are valued and loved by you as well. You like them because they are part of this person.
I'm not saying this because I feel like I'm being overlooked. I really don't have those 'good heart' and 'loving ways' going on. I'm a sour, mean old bitch who mostly thinks about herself (when she's not staring off into space thinking about some song from the 80s she can't remember lyrics to.) I should be avoided. However, there are a lot of people who shouldn't be. Maybe, if you find yourself being lonely, you should set down your list and see who you actually have chemistry with. It may surprise you. It might just change your life.
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