In Which She is Still on the Kali Kick

The roommate and I are on a "clean the house" quest right now.  We're using our usual "just clean one thing a day" That's usually all we can handle, do to the fact that we're both illish and it's hotter than hell.  These two factors usually lead to us being in shitastic moods. Have I mentioned I dislike summer?

Anyway, I've been taking steps to keep with my happiness goals.  Some of them are weird . . . actually, all of them are weird . . . and I'll give details later. I want to see how well they can work out for now.

I've been thinking about the blessed nature of endings lately. Sometimes I wonder if this is just part of my own transitory nature. Maybe it's the fact that I want summer to end or that a friend just left her job.  Whatever the case, the finite state of the universe, the waning and the sluffing and all the other things that lead to the ends are making me very happy.  It's good to know nothing lasts forever.

In fact, in my life, the trouble has always come from things not going away.  The weight doesn't go away.  The step-fathers wouldn't go away soon enough. The annoying crazy people stick around.  The neighbors that no one likes refuse to move.

I bet if you look at your own life, you'll find that a lot of your problems come from things not changing as well. Maybe even from your own inaction.  I know that is the case for me. There are people who I let stay in my life way too long, ones I should have stepped away from long before I did. There are places where I lived far after it was safe or comfortable or fun.

There were reasons why I didn't end things. In one case, I thought the situation I was in was how that certain relationship was supposed to be.  Granted, I was just out of my teens at the time. I can tell you this though, whatever the reasons I didn't end things, they were never worth the hurt I suffered in the long run.

This is one of the places where being responsible for your own happiness gets tricky. Quite often, we sacrifice our personal happiness for reasons that seem more important. Staying in a job you hate because it brings in money is a good example of this. Should you just quit your job without a backup plan? No, well, not unless you're to the point of going postal. Then you probably should.

However, just because you choose to stay for the moment, doesn't mean you should just passively sit back and continue in your misery.  While you work Job from Hell, look for other jobs, look for ways to educate or skill yourself into being able to support yourself in a way that you enjoy.  It may take time, but eventually, you'll be out of Shit Job.

I've written about that part before, right? Probably. Oh well, it's late and I'm hot.  Time for bed. Sleep makes me happy.