Saturday, December 21, 2013

Midlife Crisisagogo Part I

So I think I have this midlife crisis thing figured out. It's a simple formula, really. One that, perhaps, occurs to all people when they reach middle age. They just don't talk about it because it's really sad and depressing.  Middleaged people are sad and depressing enough as it is. There is no need to double down with it. Oh wait, unless you're me. I'm totally talking about this.

The midlife crisis, somewhat like the hot flashes, hits suddenly with very little warning that it is happening. You do, however, know it for what it is when it shows up . . . again, much like the hot flashes.  I have to admit, I was not prepared for it. You can read about this kind of thing or what it in a movie and never grasp the way it can change you. It's almost like midlife crisis shows up and rewrites part of who you are, altering it just enough to where you're still recognizable as you, but just now have this ridiculous aspect happening.

I think I know why it happens. Midlife crisis is a fucking coping mechanism. You hit middle age and it's like the fact that you knew life sucked hits this wall and realize that not only does it suck but you probably don't have much change of changing that for yourself. You're on the downhill slide towards old age, illness, and death. You've squandered your youth. You've accomplished nothing. You're running out of time, energy, and money. Also, everything now sags.

Facing such overwhelming failure, despair, and impending doom is daunting, to say the least. I'm actually shocked more people don't just kill themselves when they hit the middle years. Then again, perhaps I'm not so surprised by this, due to the very nature of the midlife crisis.  How so? Well, I shall explain that tomorrow.

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