Forward

I spent another day being really exhausted. I'm hoping this ends soon. The problem with being exhausted is that sleep doesn't help all that much. In a weird way, sleep just makes it worse. I'm not sure what will help me. Time, possibly.

Tomorrow is two weeks since the operation. How am I doing? Well, I am alive. That's an awesome start. I'm not facing as many open wounds on my belly. All of them save one is closed now. I'm walking more than I have in a long time. I'm off of my pain meds. To be honest, I'm farther along in some ways that I expected to be.

On the other hand, I still have some pain in my pelvis, especially when I sit down or have to lower my body. I'm still having trouble dealing with food. The idea of eating is exhausting and many meals are extending out to be meals the next day. My bowels aren't where they should be, though that always takes time after surgery and this one was far more extensive than the last one. And, of course, I am exhausted.

What do I want out of the next week? I want to keep walking. I want what pain I have less to go away. I want to feel energy again. That would be very nice. I would like for my doctor to clear me to drive when I see him on Monday. I would like to be allowed to lift stuff. Mostly, though, what I want more than anything else is just to go forward.