Setbacks

Today did not go as planned. I woke up with massive dehydration and looked, as my roommate so sweetly put it 'like death.' I spent the better part of the morning putting water into my system and the better part of early afternoon going to the bathroom. At least I finally managed to get a decent nap though. By late afternoon, I was able to go for my walk. There was no way I could do that in the morning.  Had I tried to do any walking at that point, I probably would have just thrown up.

This was really frustrating for me. I felt like I was going backwards with everything. Feeling this ill when  you're trying to recover from major surgery is just awful. There are goals I'm trying to accomplish every day to keep the healing process going and when things like this happens, there is just no way that can happen. It's also somewhat frightening.  I don't know how it is for everyone, but I feel absolutely horrible when I'm dehydrated. I honestly feel like it would be easier to die. There were a few hours when I wondered if I would ever feel better. It's a nasty little place to start dwelling, because part of me wonders if I will ever feel normal again.

It did help a lot that I was feeling well enough by this afternoon to walk. Afternoon walks are normally the ones I have the most problem with, because I'm usually tired due to the events of the day. For many, many hours this morning, I really didn't know if any walking would be happening. I'm glad it did. It helped me to know that recovery was possible.

Mainly though, I just really truly do NOT want to go through that again. I'm going to really up my liquids during the day and try to drink something whenever I wake up in the night (and I always wake up in the night). Dehydration can be recovered from, but it's best to be avoided in the first place. I really don't want it becoming frequent setback.