Strangeness

Today was strange. I was never in a good mood, in fact, I tended to spend most of the day in a rather anxious mood. The thing is, I'm not sure why. I know it isn't due to being off my meds. I've been really good about keeping the Happy Meds in my system lately. It wasn't due to not feeling well physically. I can't say I felt 100% great, but I didn't feel that bad either. I did both my walks. I also managed to drive to Walmart and help carry in stuff. So I don't know. I guess it was just one of those days.

In a way, I suppose it could have been the weather. The weather was strange today. When we drove to the store, it was breezy and nice. However, while I was waiting for my roommate to finish shopping, it got very hot and sticky in the car. By the time we were home, we were convinced we'd be turning on  the AC within a couple of hours. The thing is, the weather leveled out and we never had to. It was never what I would call happy and pleasant in the house, but it wasn't unbearable either.

Then again, I have to remember that depression often happens after a hysterectomy. I've been running on adrenaline for so long that maybe I just haven't noticed this dark edge creeping into things. If that is the case, it can be handled. I can just remind myself that a certain level of depression is natural after such a huge upheaval in the body. In fact, this wasn't just a body-altering surgery, but a live altering one as well. I lost parts of myself. That usually doesn't happen without consequence.

The weather is supposed to level out for the next several days and give us some relief from the heat. Maybe a few days of sleeping through the night and not sweating absolutely all day long will do me some good.