I got an invitation to my cousin's wedding today. I would love to go, but it's in Colorado and I have no idea how I would even get there. It makes me sad that I can't go. It makes me sad I'll miss another wedding, another family gathering. It's times like this when I feel really isolated from them.
I'll keep the invitation for a few weeks. I'll toy with ideas and run scenarios in my head about how I could get there. None of them will be practical or even possible. The wedding would be hard on me. I'd have to travel a long distance, wear uncomfortable clothes, probably do a lot of walking, and deal with tons of people. All of those things are things I don't handle well.
This is the year when I say yes to things. However, there are some things I can't say yes to. I've been brave about a lot of stuff. I drove in the snow and I've driven a lot more by myself. I altered the location of my therapy and I've taken on more responsibilities. All of this stuff wasn't out of reach though. It was all just about me needing to be brave enough to do it.
The wedding is out of reach. I wish it wasn't, but it is.
No comments:
Post a Comment